sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
