oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
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