Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
