Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
