my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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