she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
