My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
