I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Pants are for mortals
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
