I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
There's always time for handjobs
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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