I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
