so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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