jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
