I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
PANTIES FOUND
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