apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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