Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
