Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
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