If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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