I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize