She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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