ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
