I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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