There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
