I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
