Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
