Nicole vs. Life
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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