This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
