The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Can you bring me the toilet please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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