this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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