bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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