She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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