if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
