youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Randomize
