Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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