His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize