Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
