I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
