They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
