if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
