You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
