I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
