I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
