I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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