peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Couch. On fire.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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