Got a toothbrush?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
