I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
