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I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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