you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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