I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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