its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
