I want to make a zoo with you.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Randomize
