I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
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I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
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I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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