mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I wish i was in the wii world.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
