sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
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