ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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