just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Randomize
