Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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